Deathbed

I hope everything I’ve taught you has gotten you ready for this day, a day I have to be at peace with. You’re needed immensely today and this moment may determine the trajectory of your life. My job on this earth has come to an end and I need you to give your mother these last words for me. Look at me son, I genuinely understand how hard this may be on you but you are the man of the family now and she needs you now more than ever. I know what kind of man I raised and you can do this. From the moment you were a young boy, I knew you were a leader.

At 8 years old, I witnessed you organize a game of kickball from start to finish seamlessly. I’ve witnessed you problem solve the best way to get yourself out of trouble while showing me in hindsight, it was me and your mother’s fault to begin with. You’ve always had a very notable attitude about yourself by nature that put me at ease as you grew up.

Before I start, I want to tell you how proud of you I am kid. You are better than I ever was at this game we call life, primarily because you are a man of your word. This is something your dad had problems with during the early portion of my life. I struggled keeping my promises to many people during that phase; your mom was one of them. I could never understand how certain decisions were bigger than me at that point but son, you do. You grasp the concept that the situation is always bigger than your current emotion and I commend you for that.

You and your mom are everything to me; please make sure you are there for her every step of the way while she handles this. Always remember your service to women, especially your mother and your wife. It will define you. Son, let your tears fall. It is okay. Please, never hold back anything because of fear. Come here (hug). Your mother will be here any moment, let’s get this done for her.

I want you to title this: The one I didn’t let get away. Okay, you ready?

To my wife, honestly scratch that. The term wife doesn’t validate the affect your presence has left on my life. Phenomenal is the term that comes to mind when speaking about the emotional state I lived in while being married to you. Baby, you are an indefinable being that has left your fingerprints all over my soul. To think I almost lost you. From the moment I spoke to God about you being my wife, my life has altered emphatically. It’s so refreshing to me that the moment I was truly clear about being with you forever was the moment God allowed me to be utterly vulnerable.

I couldn’t have imagined a life with any one else. When I mentioned you leaving fingerprints on my soul, I felt that way because it seems like you’ve touched it before. It felt like I lost you in a past life and our only goal this lifetime was to show each other that not only did we need to be together but that we had to be together. That our souls have been searching ages for that one counterpart amongst 8 billion others; an exclusivity that only God could engineer. You were meant for me. I say that from the deepest parts of my heart. Tailor made for me and me alone. It made sense because every other woman I tried on never could quite fit. My family could have created a prototype woman that would be “perfect“ for me and still that person couldn’t hold a candle in your presence.

Son! Son! Call the doctor, I can’t breathe…

To be continued.

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